Angel – Episode 1.18 – Five by five

The episode title gave away that Faith would be in this.  In case I’d missed it, the DVD episode menu had a nice, big picture of her face.  Cos, of course no one would watch an episode for the first time in a boxset.  That would just be silly.  Five by five is one of Faith’s catchphrases.  I know what it means (alright, okay), but I don’t know where it comes from.  If it was made up for the show or not.  I’m not going to check either.  I rebel.

A good opening.  A gangster sees what looks like someone pull a gun.  Then the pistol-holding arm gets dropped in a fire, we realise it’s amputated, and it was a demon holding it.  DEEMUN!

Gangster #1 runs off, and Angel turns up to rescue him, in the process doing a drive-by beheading with a plank of wood.  Hacksaw Jim Duggan would be proud.

Meanwhile, Faith arrives in LA.  She messes a guy up, taking his wallet and keys.  “Now I have a place to stay” she says.  “But do you?” I reply.  The guy’s lying in a pretty busy place.  He’ll be found soon enough, and someone will surely pay a visit to his house.  I am smarter than Faith.

Time for an Angelus flashback.  Darla (the chick that made him a vampire) has a gift for him.  It’s not from Argos.  It’s a gypsy girl for munching on.  This is the first of two sexually-charged scenes from this episode.  Darla’s turned on, knowing that Angel is about to drain the life juice from this girl, saying “I get to watch”.  Filthy.

Faith is in a club and in leather trousers.  It took less than seven minutes to have her leather-clad.

More Wolfram & Hart appearances.  They argue with each other like you would expect lawyers to (as well as eat babies).  They know Faith is in town and hire her to kill Angel.  I don’t know if it’s classed as killing, seeing as he’s a vampire.  They hire Faith to make Angel not exist anymore.

W&H are becoming more prominent every episode.  I expect them to soon have their own spin-off show.  I’ve also decided that the firm is based on Wieden + Kennedy, despite that making no sense whatsoever.

Back to the Angelus flashbacks, and he’s in a bit of a state.  He’s now been cursed by the gypsies and given his soul back, which of course feckered him for performing all kinds of vampire activities.  Darla goes cold (and dry) towards him now that he’s regained his soul.  Angel walks the streets confused and angsty.

Back in the present, Cordelia heads home with Wes.  She opens her door, it closes.  Again and again.  I forgot her house was wanted.  The nice ghost that inhabits it is trying to stop her coming in, as if trying to protect her from a Slayer in her kitchen.  Apparently that’s the best it can do.  Faith ‘bows Cordelia and abducts Wes.

Sexy torture time for Wes now.  Faith’s got him tied up, and explains to him that they’ve just made a start on the five stages of torture.  For all you pain fans out there, the stages are:
1. Blunt

2. Sharp

3. Hot

4. Cold

5. Loud

Loud really wouldn’t work very well on telly, and would ruin the signature quippy dialogue.  Unless the noise torture was Faith just screaming comments in Wes’ face.  I also forgot that Wes was Faith’s watcher, which lends this scene more depth.

I don’t know what stage Buffy is at with this crossover.  At this point, some people would provide an infographic to show the links between the two shows.  You’re getting nowt.  Take that.  I’m also not even going to look it up.  Angel thought that Faith was in a coma, which I think happened at the end of season 3, involving The Mayor.  Or maybe that was season 4.

Angel bursts in to save Wes.  He fights with Faith and they fall out of a window together.  They have a cool looking fight in the rain, but Angel won’t hurt her.  The big softie, he tries to help her, telling her that she’s not really bad.  Faith starts to break, screaming “I’m bad…I’m good”.  Angel must know the safety word.  Eventually she collapses in his arms.  Wes appears, knife in hand, but sadly doesn’t get to use it.

Minutes earlier I thought that they better up the pace, cos there’s not a lot of time left, but a whole lot to happen.  But it’s a two-parter innit.  Then I got vague memories of the next episode.  From what I remember, Angel takes Wes’ place as the torturee, and Wes and Cordy save him.  Presumably Angel/Wes counsel Faith, and she seems to become good again.  Then something sets her back in a Gollum/Smeagol stylee, she tortures Angel, then escapes.  Find out in the next exciting installment.


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