I got invited to go to a club with a guy from The Risk, a boy band from X Factor.  I didn’t want to go, but thought it would at least make for an interesting story to tell.  I went to the toilet, and had to force open the bathroom door.  I stumbled in to a massive bathroom.  There were no urinals, and only one cubicle which the door had been ripped off of.  The bathroom door didn’t lock very well, so there was a chance that someone could come in and see me on the toilet.  What’s only occurring to me now is, why would I be sitting on the toilet if I only had to pee?

Cut from there, and me and my girlfriend are outside Asda, loading up the car with shopping.  The car’s not our real-life one, it’s much bigger, maybe a Volkswagen camper van, or at least a Renault Scenic (which we’d looked at a week ago).  A hippy chick arrives and leans her head into the car.  She’s wearing a Dr J basketball vest (same as the one I own).  She asks my girlfriend to come help with something.  I realise that this is a set-up so they can kidnap her.  But I don’t mind.  Because I am a Batman-type hero and will easily rescue her.

Now I’m in some woods at a stream.  A man appears in a monkey suit (I had seen someone dressed in this costume days before).  He points to the stream, I turn to see three figures in the water, only their heads are visible.  One, hairy and unrecognisable, pulls a dog in its teeth.  The dog also pulls a head in its own, something also hairy, but cut and chewed.  The monkey suit man explains that the first head is a man dressed as a Greek god.  Some hairy god I’ve never heard of.  For reasons unexplained, he is pulling a dog in his teeth.  The dog is pulling a bull that it had attacked.

And then I woke up.


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