My Ass

I’m in my office, at my desk. It’s a gloomy Tuesday afternoon in November, my second day back from holiday. It’s dark outside. Already I feel back in the working routine, like I was never away. I need to remind myself that in the past two weeks I’ve:

been on planes, trains, buses, and a quad bike
seen squirrels, rabbits, pheasants, grouse, partridges and reindeer
shot a bow
photographed a midget
fallen over in full view of dozens of people
watched a mouse run along the back of a couch I was about to sit on
woken at 4am, showered at 5
accidentally showed a photo of sex acts to a stranger
swung from monkey bars
considered becoming a Buddhist
drank a Sprite while trying to make eye contact with a llama

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